What? No Subject?

Oh dear!  Melissa always provides me with a post title in her subject line, but today she left it blank.  As  you can see, my creativity for the day had already been used up!  Anyway, here's the email, which is not short on creativity at all…

Buenas tardes,

I have had a wonderful week. Many many good things happened. Also, some not-so-fun things, like, such as, ANOTHER VIRUS FROM HADES happened to me, but I decided to be happy anyway. What power our minds have! Who knew it was so easy? Well, it is actually not easy, but it is possible. So that is good to know.

I am so blessed to be a missionary. Especially to be in this ward!! We have so many amazing members and investigators, I just love to be here. We have a dentist who does work on us missionaries for free, which is so kind. He gave me some fillings this past week! It was great! I love having fewer holes in my teeth!

We also got to have interviews with President Packard. That was probably the highlight of my week. He is so in tune with the Spirit that he always knows just what I need to hear. I'll give some examples. I brought up two things, specifically that I wanted him to help me with. The first is called, "My brother is coming home 4 days before me and I know I'm going to compare myself to him and that it will not be healthy and I'll feel down on myself because he is/was a legendary missionary." I wanted President to console me and give me an emotional pat-on-the-back and say, "Well, Sister Broekhuijsen. I can't imagine ANYONE being a better missionary than you! So you have no need to worry. If you ever feel like you weren't good enough, just remember that I think the world of you." But instead he thought for a moment and said, "You know, it's an interesting question. It's something I've thought about a lot: what do you do if you know you shouldn't compare yourself to others but you just can't help it? Well, I don't have a magical answer, but I CAN tell you that it's helpful to evaluate the source of the comparison. Remember that just as judging/comparison from the top down is based on pride, comparing yourself from the bottom up is ALSO based on pride." WHOA! He was, of course, right! ANd it was very helpful to hear!

The second issue I brought up is that I really want to know whether Heavenly Father is pleased with my missionary service. A lot of missionaries start considering that at the end of their missions, and I've been praying for a confirmation that He is pleased with me and the work I did. I told President that I'm going to take that question to the temple on transfer day and he said, "Sister Broekhuijsen, that's fine to want a confirmation, but don't ask for a sign." WHOA! He was, of course, right again! I realized that that was exactly what I was asking for! I wanted a sign, so I could have something to look back on when times get tough (as in, when I hear all about how amazing Andrew's mission was and I start feeling like a down-in-the-dumps-delilah!). Such a wise man.

But the REAL kicker is that he addressed a big concern that I hadn't even brought UP to him, but he used the Spirit to discern my need and talk to me about it!! This "secret" concern was that I'm not sure if I'M pleased with my efforts. I haven't been a perfect missionary, and especially with all the health challenges I've had lately and last winter, I feel like there are so many things I could have been better at. I mean, I've felt so sick that I've had to sleep during lunch hour (or longer) and there were many times when I was sitting on a bus and I DIDN'T talk to the person next to me. I could have, I just didn't! Because of fear, tiredness, trappings of the Devil, whatever. So I don't know how to feel about myself. I think that's another reason I was seeking a "sign" to know if God was pleased with me, so I could start working on ME feeling pleased with me. WELL he said to me, "At the end of your mission, you can look back and ask yourself, 'If I had known at the beginning of my mission, everything that I know NOW, would I have done things differently?' YES. Of COURSE. But, Sister Broekhuijsen, that just means that you have changed and learned. The real tragedy would be if you said no, I wouldn't do anything differently, because that means that you didn't grow." OH MAN, I was so thankful. It was an answer to an un-uttered (but most definitely asked) question. Aren't I fortunate to have heard such sage advice/counsel?

In the closing prayer he prayed for many specific things for me. Like about keeping the good habits that I've developed, and taking the skills I've learned and applying them into post-mission life, but then he also prayed that I will be able to rejoice in my brother's successes in a genuine way, rather than feeling resentment or jealousy. Isn't that incredible? It was a spiritual FEAST, I tell you!

So that was wonderful. I also got my ecclesiastical endorsement for BYU from President Packard, and went to Popeye's chicken for the first time (it's Sister Rivera's favorite!). Their biscuits are probably 60% butter, but they're 100% delicious. On an unrelated note, my healthy-eating resolutions are still going strong.......

I love you. I hope you all have a fulfilling week. I hereby grant unto every reader of this post the capacity to have a stellar day and week.

Love,

Sister "I can buy food that will expire when I'm in Utah. That's weird" Broekhuijsen