A "Unique Week"

It's nice to see that Melissa is able to see the good - even in "less than optimal" situations!  It was great to hear from her today.  So, without further ado…

So, last week was a very... unique week.  Today marks the 11th day of this mysterious sickness of mine. Last Monday, after running around like crazy working hard (because we didn't take a pday, remember? Because we wanted to teach 20 trillion lessons, remember?) Sis. Meier and I both crashed. Hard. As in... we could barely speak. I remember one time in high school I woke up with a really deep voice and went to the piano to test my range. I could hit two Gs below middle C. Disgusting. Well, I'm pretty sure I was at least that far down there Monday night. It was awful. But hilarious, so, haha! So Tuesday morning we cancelled our morning appointments and just slept. I love sleep. It heals my body wonderfully. Tuesday we just trekked out for a 7 o'clock dinner appointment and then one other appointment after that. That drained me. Wednesday we felt awful too, so we had to cancel everything in the morning (we had an AWESOME week set up on Sunday with 19 appointments scheduled throughout the week! In the city that is like, very impressive) and just headed out from about 2 o'clock on. Then Thursday we still weren't better and just made it out to a couple appointments. Friday was the same, and Saturday the same. It's very frustrating because we wanted to be so productive but knew that resting would be better for us! Also, I had flu like symptoms and didn't want to be going around spreading viruses like a........ pigeon. I don't know. What kind of thing spreads viruses?

Anyway it was a very frustrating week. We slept a LOT. Up until Saturday I was able to sleep every time I had time, AND through the night! So that was a huge blessing because usually if I take a lot of naps (I'm referring to pre-mission life, obviously) I have a hard time sleeping at night. So I know that was a blessing from God. We had a lot of other really cool experiences that reminded us that this is God's work. One day, in particular, we had been in the apartment all day, just feeling awful. Neither of us could really talk, and when it came time to go to our appointment, Sis. Meier couldn't find her planner (which contains our T pass). We spent about 30 minutes tearing the place apart trying to find it, but couldn't. We missed the bus that would allow us to get to the 6:00 appointment on time, so we called and cancelled that, and decided that if we couldn't find the planner she would just pay the 4 or 5 bucks that it would take to get to our 7:00 appointment with cash. Well, we couldn't find it, so we just headed out. I was so tired and felt SO miserable but I was determined to just do what I could, and to pray for strength. It's a long (not THAT long, but it seems long when you're sick) walk up a very steep hill to catch the 86, and I was not looking forward to it because my head was pounding, my throat hurt, my voice was almost gone, I was hacking up a lung, and every muscle in my body ached. Also, it was pouring rain with 5 inch deep puddles everywhere, and I don't have rainboots. I don't tell you this to make you feel sorry for me, just to show you how powerful God is. I was dreading the walk up the hill but I just said I would DO it. Do you know what? I just focused on talking to Sister Meier and distracted myself and VOILA! We were at the top of the hill and I wasn't even winded. How is this possible? Well, it was not normal, that's for sure. It was a cute little miracle.

When we were on the bus, Sis. Meier looked up suddenly and said, "I know where the planner is!" It was weird, but good that we knew where it was. Then we ended up accidentally getting off a stop too early. So we had to walk a couple extra blocks. About 2 minutes after we got off the bus a cute little Asian girl tracked us down and asked us for help reading her map. She was headed to a street pretty close to ours so we just walked with her. When she found out we were Mormon missionaries she said, "Oh, my friend is a Mormon! That's who I'm going to see!" We asked for the name and whatdoyaknow? She is in our ward. So we got talking a little bit and got this cute girl to the member's house. She was very grateful and probably wouldn't have made it there without our help because she was headed in the completely wrong direction, and her phone died so she couldn't call for directions. If we hadn't been sick, then we wouldn't have come from that direction. If we hadn't lost the planner, we wouldn't have been on the later bus. And if we hadn't gotten off on the wrong stop, we wouldn't have run into her. So God told us, "Hey ladies, I've got this all under control. I have REASONS for doing things, even if your puny minds can't always understand why." Except He said it in a nicer way.

All week when we WERE out of the apartment, we were less than wonderful at contacting because we didn't want to send the message that "if you join our church you get a free cold." But it was amazing to see how many people approached US. Very unusual. God really does provide for ways for His work to go on, even when it's not under what we would consider ideal conditions. 

Switching gears: despite being mentally clouded because of the sickness, I was able to come to a really cool realization this week. In district meeting on Friday, and Elder gave a presentation on one of the Christlike Attributes found in Preach My Gospel (the best chapter EVER - you should all study it.) He chose humility and the discussions mixed very well with the advice from Mom and Dad in your letters this week, and this combination led to personal revelation so thanks! 

In Mom's letter she shared a quote by Steve Jobs, "Almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." Pretty cool, eh? Mom elaborated and reflected back on her own mission. Like me, she sometimes had a hard time just opening her mouth. Looking back, she asks herself, "What exactly did I think I had to lose?" but it was exactly what the quote says, "pride, fear of embarrassment or failure," etc.   

I definitely have similar issues for the same reasons.  I realized that again during the district meeting. In the training he brought up two points that specifically stuck out to me. First that humility is our willingness to submit to the will of the Lord. We got into a discussion about "What are you willing to give up for the Lord?" It made me really examine my life as a missionary. I realized that I'm totally willing to do the big things--I'll quit my job, leave my family, wear this nametag and fly out to Boston but when it comes to the smaller things like actually opening up my mouth to the stranger next to me on the bus, I'm somehow unwilling/unable. What is my problem? Why won't I give up THAT for the Lord? It goes right back to that quote. I'm scared of embarrassment and failure. Why can't I give up that pride?? Gah. 

It ties right into the second point from the training:  "Humility is not a sign of weakness--it often requires boldness". That also got me. It is actually more prideful of me to sit there quietly than to boldly declare God's word. Can you believe that? It's so true though!  Pride  is what stops me from being bold and inviting everyone around me to learn more about Christ and His restored church. I never even realized that it was pride before then. I always just thought it was fear/shyness/weakness. But now I think it really just comes down to faith. Do I trust the Lord enough to be bold? I should. Even though I can sincerely say that I believe and even KNOW that Heavenly Father will take care of me, somewhere along the line from knowing to DOING there is a disconnect. I guess that stumblingblock is pride. I feel so blessed to have come that the understanding that this problem of mine is a lack of humility. I definitely don't want to be prideful! That would mean I'm ungrateful and that sounds disgustingly rude and awful. So. Once my voice is back to normal I'm definitely going to try harder to just SPEAK! Please pray (how many times a week do I ask for you all to pray for me??) that I'll be able to do that.

 So. That was one of my favorite things that I learned this week.

I hope you all are doing well! I hope you know how much it means to me to know that you're thinking about and praying for me. I love hearing from you, and I loved seeing the pictures from Capitol Reef.  Joshua - that hair makes me want to vomit on a kitten. Cut it a.s.a.p.  

 Love you,

 Sister Broekhuijsen

[Editor's note:  In all fairness, Joshua had "bed hair" in the picture - it usually looks better!  I just had to leave the quote in, though, because it made me laugh!]